Maintaining Connection with Aging Parents When You Don’t Live Nearby
Staying Connected from a Distance – How Do You Do It?
Hi everyone,
I’m Catherine, and I wanted to start a conversation about something I’ve been personally navigating—how to stay emotionally close to our aging parents when we don’t live in the same city or even the same country.
My mom lives several hours away, and even though we talk on the phone often, I still carry this heavy feeling of guilt for not being there in person. I worry if she’s okay, if she’s eating well, if she’s lonely. Sometimes, even a simple video call brings up a wave of emotion. It’s hard to explain unless you’ve been through it.
I’ve tried to find little ways to stay connected—sending her handwritten notes, scheduling regular virtual meals together, and making sure she knows she can call me any time, even just to chat about her garden or the weather. But honestly, it doesn’t always feel like enough.
I’m curious to hear from others:
How do you stay close to your parents or loved ones when you can’t physically be there?
Do you have any routines, creative ideas, or tools that help you bridge the distance?
How do you cope with the guilt or worry that often comes with long-distance caregiving?
I’d really appreciate hearing your stories or tips. I think we can all help each other feel a little less alone in this.
Warmly,
Catherine.
Hello Catherine,
Thank you so much for opening up about this. I can truly relate to everything you shared—especially the part about guilt and the emotional weight of being far away. It’s one of the hardest parts of long-distance caregiving, and you’re right, unless someone has lived it, it’s hard to fully explain.
One thing that’s helped me feel more connected with my dad, who lives in another state, is establishing little rituals. We have a standing Sunday “coffee call” where we both make our morning coffee and chat like we’re at the same table. It’s simple, but it’s become something we both look forward to. I also send him voice notes when I know he might feel lonely—sometimes just sharing a memory or a funny story from my day.
As for the guilt, I’m learning to give myself grace. We show love in many ways, not just through physical presence. The care, time, and thought you’re putting in do matter, even if they don’t always feel like enough.
Thank you again for your honesty—it’s comforting to know others feel the same. Sending you warmth and encouragement. 💛
Warmly,
Sophia