Balancing a Full-Time Job and Elder Care: Is It Ever Really Possible?

#1 · May 3, 2025, 12:24 am

Quote from Sydney on May 3, 2025, 12:24 am
Hello everyone,

I hope you're all doing okay today. I’ve been reading through some of the posts on this forum, and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone in what sometimes feels like a never-ending balancing act. I wanted to open up about something that’s been weighing on me lately, in hopes that maybe some of you can relate or even offer a little advice.

I’m currently juggling a full-time job and the care of my aging mother. I love her deeply, and I’m grateful for the time we have together. But truthfully? It’s hard. I wake up early, get her breakfast, help with medications or appointments when needed, then dive straight into work often remotely, though not always and try to focus despite feeling stretched thin. Evenings are more of the same: helping her get ready for bed, handling dinner, cleaning, organizing prescriptions, and just trying to keep up with everything life throws at me.

Some days I feel like I’m doing two full-time jobs, and neither one of them is getting my full energy or attention. I’ve noticed my own health slipping a bit more headaches, less sleep, and a constant feeling of being overwhelmed. I don’t want to complain because I know many people have it even harder, but I can’t help but wonder: Is this sustainable?

I’ve tried setting boundaries, using calendars, hiring part-time help when I can afford it, and even asking siblings to pitch in. But often, it still comes back to me. There’s a quiet guilt that creeps in too like if I focus too much on work, I’m neglecting my mom. And if I devote all my attention to caregiving, then I worry about falling behind professionally and losing that part of myself.

So, I wanted to ask all of you here:

Are you also working full-time while caring for a loved one?

How do you manage the daily demands without burning out?

Are there routines, resources, or mindset shifts that helped you strike a healthier balance?

And maybe most importantly how do you deal with the guilt?

Sometimes I just need to hear that it’s okay to not be perfect. That it’s okay to be tired. And that there are others out there who understand this mix of love, responsibility, and exhaustion.

Thank you so much for reading this far. I’d really appreciate hearing any advice, experiences, or even just a shared moment of empathy. We’re all in this together, and even just writing this post already feels like a small breath of relief.

Warmly,
Sydeney

Hello everyone,

I hope you're all doing okay today. I’ve been reading through some of the posts on this forum, and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone in what sometimes feels like a never-ending balancing act. I wanted to open up about something that’s been weighing on me lately, in hopes that maybe some of you can relate or even offer a little advice.

I’m currently juggling a full-time job and the care of my aging mother. I love her deeply, and I’m grateful for the time we have together. But truthfully? It’s hard. I wake up early, get her breakfast, help with medications or appointments when needed, then dive straight into work often remotely, though not always and try to focus despite feeling stretched thin. Evenings are more of the same: helping her get ready for bed, handling dinner, cleaning, organizing prescriptions, and just trying to keep up with everything life throws at me.

Some days I feel like I’m doing two full-time jobs, and neither one of them is getting my full energy or attention. I’ve noticed my own health slipping a bit more headaches, less sleep, and a constant feeling of being overwhelmed. I don’t want to complain because I know many people have it even harder, but I can’t help but wonder: Is this sustainable?

I’ve tried setting boundaries, using calendars, hiring part-time help when I can afford it, and even asking siblings to pitch in. But often, it still comes back to me. There’s a quiet guilt that creeps in too like if I focus too much on work, I’m neglecting my mom. And if I devote all my attention to caregiving, then I worry about falling behind professionally and losing that part of myself.

So, I wanted to ask all of you here:

Are you also working full-time while caring for a loved one?
How do you manage the daily demands without burning out?
Are there routines, resources, or mindset shifts that helped you strike a healthier balance?
And maybe most importantly how do you deal with the guilt?

Sometimes I just need to hear that it’s okay to not be perfect. That it’s okay to be tired. And that there are others out there who understand this mix of love, responsibility, and exhaustion.

Thank you so much for reading this far. I’d really appreciate hearing any advice, experiences, or even just a shared moment of empathy. We’re all in this together, and even just writing this post already feels like a small breath of relief.

Warmly,
Sydeney

#2 · May 15, 2025, 4:01 am

Hello Sydney,

Thank you so much for being so open and honest. Reading your words felt like reading a page from my own life. The constant juggle between caregiving and a full-time job can be so emotionally and physically draining, and yet, it’s something we rarely feel allowed to talk about without guilt.

I’m currently in a similar season—balancing work deadlines while trying to be fully present for my father, who needs daily support. Like you, I often feel like I’m giving 100% in two places at once and still falling short. And yes, the guilt is very real… but so is the love and commitment we’re pouring into both roles.

One thing that’s helped me, even if just a little, is building in small, non-negotiable moments for myself. Whether it’s 10 minutes of quiet in the morning with tea, a short walk during lunch, or journaling before bed—those moments give me just enough mental space to keep going. Also, learning to say no without apology has been a game-changer, even if I still need reminders to practice it.

I just want to echo this: it is okay to be tired, and it is okay not to have it all perfectly figured out. You’re doing something incredibly difficult with a heart full of love—and that alone deserves so much acknowledgment and grace.

Please know you’re not alone in this, and thank you again for putting into words what so many of us feel. 💛

With understanding,
Sophia

#3 · May 18, 2025, 4:28 pm

Hey Sydney

Thank you so much for sharing this it felt like I was reading my own thoughts and I’m also juggling full-time work while caring for my aging mum. And yes, it’s exhausting. Some days, I feel like I’m running on autopilot doing my best, yet constantly feeling like I’m falling short in both roles.

What’s helped me a little is learning to embrace small wins. Some days, that just means my mum smiled or I managed to complete a few tasks at work without breaking down. I’ve also started reminding myself that showing up, even tired, is still showing up and that’s love in action.

The guilt? That part still lingers. But I try to reframe it. If I lose myself entirely in caregiving, I’ll eventually have nothing left to give. So taking care of myself, even in small ways, is not selfish it’s necessary.

You’re not alone in this. It is okay to be tired. It’s okay to feel pulled in two directions. And it’s more than okay to pause, breathe, and acknowledge that you’re doing something incredibly hard with love at the center of it.

Sending you strength and solidarity,
– Fidelity